back in kl

been back in kl since last weekend. but have been ever so busy since. haven't had much time for myself or to meet up with old friends. when was the last time i've not been busy? i can't remember. activity's supposed to have slowed down. yet, i've only had a weeks worth of vacation during cny since last july.

lately, i've been having a weird feeling. whenever i receive a job from someone and i delay them, i would feel as though i've put off the job forever. but once it's done and i checked how long it has been since i received the mail/call for the job, it'll only be a couple of days. never more than a week. not only that. events that happened last week feels like it's occurred last month. i'm losing perception of time. i'm losing sense of what's happening around me too.

cl told me a few days ago that i've got my priorities wrong. i've sacrificed myself and those around me in my focus on my job. in wanting to get things done, i've pushed aside everything else. is that true? i don't know. i don't necessarily agree to it, but if she could say that and my parents could say that, it has to mean something. right? i guess in my shortcomings as a person, inadvertently is my strength as an employee. i hope it is or all this would be so worthless.

anyway, just this one project. once this project in the ground, i will re-evaluate my position in the company. and where i stand on achieving my goals - personal and professional. perhaps then i'll need to search for a new challenge. a new environment. till then, my blood is blue i guess.

a brand new day

woke up to a cloudy day. wonders if those clouds are a reflection of my mood this morning. not too excited about getting up from bed. a hot shower - yes, that would clear up the fog surrounding my mind. and a cup of hot coffee, that usually wakes me up and get's me in gear for the day. but why am i still struggling this morning? it'll clear up by lunch, i'm sure of that. work's pilling up by the second. i just need to divide and conquer. an age old war tactic that works well almost everywhere and in every situation. so easily distracted i find myself. losing focus every minute. need to shake this off. need to improve the situation.

had a relaxing lunch - a good dependable half time pep talk. had a fairly smooth meeting. things seem to be picking up. did nothing much after the meeting but generally felt better. no idea why. list of things to do is still a mile long. and more than half of it was due yesterday. decided to close up early in the office. well early is early for me.

after that, a good dinner. always a good way to end the day. after dinner, a good bottle of wine and a good conversation. enjoyable company. it is much appreciated, especially after such a long week. and now, in front of my laptop, looking at a spreadsheet that i've been staring at for the past couple of days. i think i'm going to shut down.

tomorrow will be a brand new day. i don't know if it'll be better or worse. but it'll be a brand new day.